May You Find…

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To all who are struggling right now…

May you find peace amid the chaos that’s daily churning up your insides, as you wake up afraid, not knowing what scary news you’ll encounter on TV or online.

May you find freedom, even when you’re cocooned inside of the house to keep yourself healthy, in order to save the lives of strangers and loved ones alike.

May you find hidden caches of love for your family, friends and all humanity, realizing with great empathy and awareness that we are all in this together.

May you find the ability to be kind to yourself, no matter how you’re feeling right now and show the same kindness to others, especially if they are desperately in need of some.

May you find a way to let go and come to understand that although the future isn’t meant to be known, we will always have hope to hold onto, especially during these current times of extreme anxiety.

I wish you all well, stay safe. God bless you and your loved ones.

I’ve No More F***s To Give!

I just came across this hilarious video and it made me laugh my ass off. I seriously haven’t cracked up this hard in ages!

Something that I really needed right now and maybe you do too.

If you don’t mind the “f” word, that is. (Fair warning.)

But if you know we well enough, then you know that it’s one of my most favorite words ever.


I’ve No More F***s To Give! by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. 2018

I’ve tried, tried, tried, and I’ve tried even more
I’ve cried, cried, cried, and I can’t recall what for
I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged in hopes of some success
But the inevitable fact is that it never will impress
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have runneth dry
I’ve tried to go fuck shopping but there’s no fucks left to buy
I’ve no more fucks to give though more fucks I’ve tried to get
I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt
I strived, strived, strived, to get everything done
I played by all the rules, but I very rarely won
I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed and laughed, alas to no avail
I’ve run round like a moron to unequivocally fail
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fuck fuse has just blown
I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day
But they’ve upped and fucked off home
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fuck rations are depleted
I’ve rallied my fuck army but it’s been fucking defeated
The effort has just not been worth the time or the expense
I’ve exhausted all my energy for minimal recompense
The complete lack of acknowledgement has now begun to gall
And I’ve come to realize that I don’t give a fuck at all
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have flown away
My fucks are now so fucked off they refuse to fucking stay
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have gone insane
They’ve come back round and passed me while they’re fucking off again
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have all dissolved
I’ve planned many projects but my fucks won’t be involved
I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have all been spent
They’ve fucked off from the building and I don’t know where they went
I’ve no more fucks to give
I’ve no more fucks to give
I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks to give

A Surreal Tint

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I’m having a hard time right now, as I’m sure many of us are. It’s a scary world. Here in Ohio, we’re not supposed to be going anywhere unless it’s absolutely necessary. Most stores that do not sell food are closed…recreation, schools, all shut down until further notice.

The only two people I allow myself to see are my daughter and boyfriend. She’s still working since she’s a manager of a gourmet burger place but my boyfriend has been laid off until further notice. He’s not getting anywhere when he tries (so many times now) to unsuccessfully apply for unemployment.

As for me, even though I’m used to being at home for extended periods of time, life has taken on a surreal tint. Going to the store for food or medications feels like I’m risking my life and that of anyone else that I come into contact with. So, I just stay put and if I DO go anywhere, I put on a bandana around my mouth and nose.

I’m glad that we got to move before this entire pandemic started. At least I’m not stuck inside that stupid condo for God knows how long. I had hoped that moving here would be full of bright, happy feelings; instead, I’m afraid to wake up each day and read the news.

What if today is the day that my daughter, who still has to do carry out and delivery orders, catches this fucker?

I don’t want to get out of bed. I struggle every morning. I’m depressed, anxious and scared. My fibro is flaring and I’m so fucking tired of being in pain 24/7.

I miss my mom but I’m also thankful that she isn’t here during this crisis…she’d be an absolute wreck! At least she isn’t suffering even more than she already did.

But regardless of that, I’m experiencing a grief tsunami, unrelenting waves of sadness, absolute pain that cuts right to the core of me.

So yeah, I’m not doing so great right now.

I hope you guys are doing better than I am.