Is that all there is?

I’ve noticed that many of my posts lately have been stories from my childhood.

 Nostalgia is comforting. For all who have followed my life for any amount of time knows (thank you), I am a very unhappy me most of the time.

I try not to dwell on anything negative, or allow myself to give in to the despair, so I just go back in my time machine to a happier place. This is the allure of telling stories, which we all do on our blogs to some extent, I think.

Like cotton, it’s the fabric of our lives.

Aw, here kitty…wait, where did you go?

I don’t feel comfortable talking about my current personal life, mostly due to the fact that family and friends read it. Some things are just not solely mine to share, so I am very careful to do no harm here, to anyone in my flesh and blood life. I have other outlets for those issues.

 All I really know for sure is that I feel like I am missing out on something. I am confused about what comes next, and what decisions to make to ensure a future that is as pleasant as possible. I am not ready to call it quits and sit in my own pool of tears.

I do not want to accept the fact that that’s all there is.

Which actually brings us to another story, but not from childhood.

When I used to work at quite an upscale nursing home as a dietary aide about ten years ago, I had a mini-boom box by my kitchenette. While I served breakfast, I would put on a few of the random, scratched up CD’s that the activity department had provided. I noticed that the residents really enjoyed the music, so I decided to make a few CD’s myself for them.

Many of the songs were hysterically dated, coming from the 40’s and 50’s, but after hearing them over and over again, one in particular caught my interest.  At the time I had no idea exactly what it meant, but with age comes wisdom. (And creaky joints.)

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51 thoughts on “Is that all there is?

  1. Peggy Lee is the bomb.

    Hugs to you, chica. You are just starting to figure out what’s next. Even though mentally and physically it may feel like it’s been forever, it hasn’t, which I only point out to say: it’s ok. The fact you are asking this is a good sign that a new phase is starting or will be able to start.

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  2. Oh merbear… we do think about future and what we can do to make the coming days favorable. I hope you do find your answer so very soon. Take care. 🙂
    And I mistook those kitties to be marshmallows at first glance. 😀

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  3. It gets better honey. Sometimes you have to go through hell – for a while – a LONG while – before you get back to where you really should be. And try to be gentle with yourself. All any of us can ever do is try to be the best version of ourselves that we can be today. ❤

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      • Not sure if this will help or what, but I’m 100% honest with both of us, it’s taken me nearly 7 years from the time of my diagnosis until now where I mostly feel like I’m a regular human being. The advantage that you have – with the fibro anyway – is that you know what you felt like before you got sick so you’ll know what it’s like to feel “better” again when you get there. I’ve never know what “not bipolar” feels like. But hang tight, we’ll get there. ❤

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  4. OK, I might have a new anthem now. I like the thought of just keep dancing. 🙂 While I was watching the Lady & the Tramp video, I wish you could have seen my beagle’s face when the “dogs” were barking. 🙂

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  5. Pingback: My Buddy | Evil Squirrel's Nest

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