Bottle of Relief


Such an awesome emotion should have a beautiful bottle to contain it.

I kept waiting for my husband to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

But he never did, especially not ever with any conviction.

And as long as I stayed with him, I would never be okay.

He got fucking sloppy, he had too many women looking for some sweet revenge after his pump and dumps. I’m thankful that they tipped me off, finally showing me what he was truly all about.

I needed that in order to break the spell that he had me under. The date is Monday, December 4th, almost two weeks without any contact, no more of him trying to play on my feelings, manipulating me and using the dogs to gain entry.

I’m hereby calling it “Escape from Toad Mountain” day, based on a joke with my daughter. Believe me, it’s freakin’ hilarious.


I got this from a toad who moonlights as a private dick.

I’m feeling many surprising, to me, things. It’s scary, it’s exciting. It’s sad, but also quite lovely.

A friend told me that it’s my turn to live my own life for a fucking change and so that’s what I am trying to accomplish right now.

I wake up every morning to a moment or two of forgetfulness until the reality of my new world suddenly makes it way to my lungs, which I need in order to heave a deep, relieved breath.

I also take many relieved sighs throughtout my day.

I wish that they could bottle this emotion.


23 thoughts on “Bottle of Relief

  1. Hold on to this emotion, it’s precious. First comes shock, than anger, that acknowledgement, then acceptance. It’s like with a disease. Kim talked about it. Then, you, though weakened, learn to live with this pain. With time, you get stronger and stronger. Lastly, you, unlike with the disease, forget it/he was ever there. You press delete and…no more.
    E. Dickinson says it nicely:
    After great pain, a formal feeling comes.
    She means when sb dies, first it hurts and at one point you turn numb, the pain freezes you.
    In your case, after the initial pain, rage and eventually numbness, you’ll turn into a beautiful butterfly and fly.

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