Woe Is Me

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When I push my body to the limit, it repays me with pain and exhaustion. I’ve accepted this fact as a part of my reality. I’ve also accepted that others will not quite grasp the realness of my disease due to the fact that I look healthy on the outside.

I have to know when to stop and take a rest. It’s my body, after all. I’m the only one living inside this skin of mine.


I don’t want to alarm you guys, but my anxiety and depression is making a comeback. I’m still an extremely damaged person, even though I do my best to control it.

Hugging my mom is like hugging a living skeleton.

Change isn’t a simple process. I’ve removed toxic people from my life. I’ve changed my mindset and have come to finally realize that I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness (we all do). I deserve to get back what I give to others. If people cannot do this, they have to go. It doesn’t matter how long that I’ve known somebody.

Time means jack shit, one month or 28 years, it makes no fucking difference.


I read yesterday that the majority of people who have fibromyalgia are also empaths. This makes a whole shit ton of sense to me. I mean, where else would the negative emotions go if you don’t know how to rid yourself of them? They get absorbed into our flesh and bones, manifesting into a lifetime of chronic misery.


I feel like hiding today, away from the world. I want to wallow in my own melancholy stew, flavored with a seasoning packet of woe is me.

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21 thoughts on “Woe Is Me

  1. I don’t know about one statement bff. I think I know who you’re talking about. I still don’t think people deserve to get back what they give. You give because you want to and it’s in your heart. If they aren’t kind or don’t care about you, yes.
    You are a giving person. You have given many times without expecting anything back. You just don’t feel good.
    And I’m glad you rid yourself of that very toxic person.

    Liked by 3 people

    • You’re right, bff. I don’t feel good today, mentally, emotionally or physically. You do know who I am talking about, I’ve told you all about it for a long ass time. I’m hurt and saddened by it, but honestly, I’ve known the truth about her for many years now and I am also relieved that it’s over for good.
      Love you, bff. Thank you for showing me what real friendship is all about. ❤

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  2. Mer sorry to hear you’re not feeling well today, I totally understand these types of days. I just want to remind us that this too shall pass, each day is gonna be different in one way or another and it’s ok to feel sad and melancholy. The key as you know is not to stay in that zone, so accept your time of sadness and not feeling well for now, but tomorrow, oh tomorrow is a whole new day to feel…Joy, Happiness, Patience, Love, Trust, and Faith. You got this Girl.

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    • Thank you, Heidi. I’ve noticed that when I start to feel depressed and anxious, instead of being afraid of it, I sort of embrace it…if that makes sense. The only way to get past it is to go through it. ❤

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  3. I know that I am an empath, and picked up on my parent’s arguments when I was a child.
    Curiously, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia some years ago (initially thought to be a brain tumour). I was also at the point of being prescribed meds for high blood pressure. Amazingly, 3 months after getting my own asshat out of my life every symptom and pain had disappeared and I was text book perfect.
    Stay strong my lovely, look forward, not back. You have come through so much and have claimed your life back. You can make your own choices now. You are an amazing strong woman and your demons need to run away because you have a positive life to get on with. Love to you and your daughter xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me…I just love when someone new to me leaves me a comment, I don’t realize just how many people I touch with my writing.
      Like you, I feel much better with my asshat gone…I’d give it a 47%. Amazing what throwing away the trash can do for your quality of life. ❤

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  4. You got through the worst part, Mer. You got this. Feeling bad physically can make your mind go places it shouldn’t. I know that for a fact. Hang in there and hang onto your friends when you need to, that’s what real friends are for. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true…the body/mind connection is as real as my dislike for yellow mustard.
      I’m lucky to have a few real friends to help me out when the shit hits the fan on my bad days.
      My mom is starting to decline even faster now and that’s what is truly making me so sad right now…as for asshat, I’m still really angry and want the years that I gave to him back. If fucking only…
      Love you, my friend. We need to chat soon. ❤

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      • We do need a nice chat. We’ll see what we can do about that. Your mom needs you to stay strong for her, Mer, as she has stayed strong for you. I know it’s scary as hell to see your mom like this. You got it in you. You’ll see. ❤

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  5. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. It makes sense that your anxiety and depression would come back during the month of the anniversary of your father’s death. That was such a traumatic thing for you to go through and, being an empath, you didn’t just experience your own pain but everyone else’s too. I experienced something similar, though much, much less traumatic and devastating to me personally, when I was six years old and I still feel anxious and out of sorts during July. And then add a fibro energy crash to it and I’m a mess! Hang in there. I hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I didn’t even think of that, Trisha…August will always be my least favorite month, just as July is yours. I seriously feel relieved when August is all over with.
      I’m hanging in there, thank you. Fibro can get bent, lol. ❤

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