I can now include “served divorce papers” to my bucket list.

It happened yesterday afternoon and to be perfectly blunt, I was shocked that he did something that took such a fair chunk of change, never-mind something responsible. He beat me to the punch. I was just readying myself to go downtown and file my own paperwork, but I waited too long to get my nerve up to actually do it.

He lives in a completely different county now, so it won’t take place in downtown Cleveland.

The pretrial is May 13th and I’m terrified of seeing him again. It’s never easy facing your abuser, especially after having so much time away from their toxicity. I feel so much healthier, physically, mentally and emotionally now, so it’s like having a gigantic scab ripped open.

My daughter and myself, we both had bad dreams last night.

He put down that we’re incompatible. It’s just like him to try to appear squeaky clean.

“Yep, the old lady got sick and went nuts, so I had no other option but to leave her.”

If they ask me my side of it, I plan on telling them the truth, although he’ll deny it all, because in his mind it was all my fault.

I have a squad of people going with me for emotional support…my best friend Cheryl, my friend Dave, my boyfriend Steven and hopefully my kid. It makes me feel supported and loved to have them all offer to go with me.

I know that this is the final chapter and then I can truly move on with the rest of my life. But my fear of facing him again brings all of the traumatic memories back to the surface.

Why does life have to be so hard?


23 thoughts on “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

  1. Unless you have marriage assets to split or kids together they usually will file a divorce under incompatible because it’s just easier. Mostly showing up is that you contest the divorce. My ex filed also and I was served. I didn’t want to fight for anything (even though he took everything in the house) so I never showed up. Ninety days later I got my final papers and we were divorced. Of course, that was in Texas, I’m not sure how it is in your state. But…do you HAVE to show up for some reason? If not, my advice is don’t. If he’s not asking for something you don’t want to give don’t put yourself through that if you don’t want to. It is nice you have so much support and of course, you know I’m here for you too. ❤

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  2. Mer. Damn it. Can’t you just sign and be done? If people are offering to come with you, let them! I’d come if I lived in Cleveland… then we’d go out and celebrate after! You don’t have to face asshat. Just pretend he isn’t there. (I play this game from time to time when there are people around me who have fallen into the ‘not in my world’ category! Just look straight ahead. If he speaks to you, don’t answer, if he looks at you, stare right through him, if he approaches you… walk the other way ON PURPOSE! Sometimes the bad people don’t realize they no longer exist in our world and you have to show them by ignoring them LOUDLY. Does this make sense? Practice makes perfect! 😉 remember, this divorce is NOT about him. That ship sailed and sunk a long time ago… a healthy, no longer abused Mer is going to court to divorce her cheating husband. The end.

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  3. Can you hit him for alimony? Or do you even want to go down that road? A friend of mine had her 25 year marriage end because her husband cheated on her. Now he pays a lot of money a month to her. You can’t just do shit like that and get away with it.

    I’m a new reader, so I have a ton to catch up on!

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