I’ll Never…

Beautiful retro woman with red lips holding cup of coffee. black

I have to somehow accept the fact that my life didn’t pan out the way that I expected it to.

I’ll never be able to go back to how I was before my health conditions took over and made me so fragile, mentally and physically.

I’ll never be able to go back in time and listen to my instincts before I married the asshat.

I’ll never be able to tackle problems and situations with a mostly calm, collected mind without becoming overwhelmed, like I used to do.

I’ll never be able to clean my entire house in one day. (Become one with the clutter and dust!)

I’ll never be able to fully trust another human ever again. (Besides my extremely ill mother.)

I’ll never wake up again and not feel like a dog turd. (Unless I’m hooked up to a morphine drip.)

I’ll never…

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5 thoughts on “I’ll Never…

  1. …. you will be able to wake up every day knowing that you got out of an abusive relationship that would have killed you faster than your sickness.

    ….. you will be able to wake up every morning knowing that the day before, you fought your illnesses with all that you have.

    My Uncle was 45 years old when he died. Perfect health. Never smoked a day in his life. He beat cancer in the early 90’s. In a single instant, a 17 year old didn’t check his blind spot, merged, and sent my Uncle into a traffic pole.

    You and I? We still have today. It can all be gone in an instant – but at least you won’t go out of this world without a fight. You got this.

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  2. I can so relate to never being able to clean your house in one day. Someone in my husband’s family asked me why I never have birthday parties for anyone in my family. My answer was that I can’t clean my house and then be nice to people. I’m sure she didn’t get it. No one does, unless they live it.

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