Avoid the Void

void

Suddenly, you get the news that your elderly mother is having surgery the exact day as your divorce hearing.

You start to cry hysterically and have an almost instant panic attack.

Maybe it’s best if we try to shut down a bit, your emotions whisper.

Yes, you whisper back.

Perhaps you don’t really have to go to the divorce hearing, I mean, there’s nothing to say. Relationship is done, over and finished. Let a judge do what they do without your input, who gives a fuck?

I need to protect myself, I’m fucking tired of being strong, if one more person tells me that I got this, I’m gonna lose my shit…

I’m so tired, I’m just gonna sleep.

It’s like I’m living in a movie, it’s all make believe.

Numb myself, smoke a bunch of weed, watch Netflix. Avoid the void.

Dear God, please make my mom feel better, even for a short time.

Help me feel nothing.

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7 thoughts on “Avoid the Void

  1. This is terrible, Mer, but you have to do it so that you’re done and over with him forever.

    I’ve had plenty of surgeries, so, the thing is, we don’t need anybody during the surgery, and you probably won’t be allowed to see her right away. What matters is that you’re there the following day and in days to come.
    You can do this. Promise you will.

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  2. Mer, I might have an idea on how you can do both so you won’t get in trouble with the divorce court. I had this idea last night laying in bed thinking of what a hard time you are going through right now. PM me at some point and I’ll tell you my idea. ❤

    Like

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