I am able to see the good things in my life that still remain. I am not that far gone, my friends.
I have my daughter, I treasure her every moment of the day.
I made the right choice and was then presented with the gift of my boyfriend, who brings me sunshine, kindness and love…things that I have never had in a romantic relationship before.
I have a handful of loyal friends who haven’t abandoned me in my time of intense sadness. I look up to the heavens and am thankful for their faithful presence in my life.
I’ve felt the touch of God upon my bowed, sorrowful head and have found my faith in Him again, after so many years of traveling on the wrong path filled with evil men and wicked deeds that I readily tolerated.
My life without my mom, it’s something that I always knew would come. When I was younger, the thought would creep into my mind, mostly at bedtime, that one day she would be gone.
The years passed as they do, she turned 60…65…70. I’d roll over and shut my eyes so tightly, until the idea melted away and then I would sleep well in the knowing that in the morning, she would call me like she always did.
Why do I try so hard to pretend that I’m okay when in reality, I am so full of heartache?
My life without my mom, it’s a lonely vista of unspoken emotions, filled with my regrets and my deep desire to hold her again with every cell in my body.
My grief is unbearable.