A Blessed Carrot

It amazes me that after seven years of blogging…well, just how many absolutely wonderful people, although they’ve never seen me in person (nor have they ever seen me snort-laugh,) give a true shit about me.

Comments from my last post:

❤ – beth ❤

Trying to buy a house is 1 part excitement to 9 parts shitty. – Ali, known since the beginning  ❤ 

You can do this, I believe in you. ❤ – Erin, known since the beginning 

I honestly don’t understand how some people enjoy the housing market and buy/sell on a semi-regular basis. Most regular people (not the house flipper types) don’t understand the system that well, you are not stupid! (but I know that inner voice all too well too)
good luck xx – A newer blog peep but still equally awesome

You aren’t stupid, Mer. Just tired and that’s ok but don’t give up when the first place doesn’t pan out. It’s a bad time of year for houses anyway. You know you’d feel much better and your dogs would be safer if you moved. Give it another try. We are always learning in life. It doesn’t make you any more stupid than the rest of us. ❤ – Jackie, my wise, empath soul friend

Real estate is confusing and complicated and your agent should have explained more clearly about what you were signing. You are NOT stupid. I hope everything works out ❤️ – MDB ❤

Good luck on the house! Most of us have roller coaster feelings during times like this. (You get your power back by not bad talking about yourself—it’s hard but doable). – Ruth ❤

There is nothing fun about trying to buy a house… and I knew zip about the process when I went looking for mine. It was pretty harrowing, but it all worked out in the end, and I certainly hope you get a nice little place as well. Hugs to you! – ES, known since the very start of my blog and my virtual brother.

Buying and selling a house is a long, drawn out nightmare, usually. So much paperwork and it gets confusing. I have been through it a few times and I felt so overwhelmed every time! I had a bad realtor once. The guy had definite opinions on what I should or should not purchase. He was basing the assumptions on the fact that I was a widow and had no man in my life. I know this from a few comments he made. I even had one realtor laugh when went to an open house and was interested. He asked if I was married. I told him I was a widow and he LAUGHED at me thinking I could purchase a home on my own. At that time, I had all of the life insurance money from my husband’s death sitting in my bank. I was SO mad that I blurted out that I could buy the home in cash if I wanted to, because I had the full purchase price in my bank. His expression changed dramatically. I just told him never mind, I wouldn’t do business with him and walked away. It felt good! – Kathy, one of my first blog friends ❤ 

And to all who don’t comment, just the act of faithfully reading about my various ups and downs over the years (if you know who asshat is, yeah, you’ve been around a long time) makes me feel as blessed as the carrot that didn’t get picked to go into the beef stew.

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Phew, fuck yeah.

Thanks, you guys. So fucking much.


We did get the house, I got the call Wednesday night. More to come.

A Long Decade

My mom always told me that finding a true friend in this world was difficult…but actually keeping one was even harder.

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And she was right.

I try to go through life with the realization that the majority of people I befriend are going to end up being a transient part of my life. It’s just easier that way, especially now that I’ve vowed to stop chasing people.

I’ve worn out far too many pairs of sneakers doing that shit and my feet hurt.

I can count on one hand the number of people with whom I believe in enough to relay my innermost thoughts and fears to. I don’t write about everything that happens or the tragedies that befall me. I had a double whammy just yesterday and as much as I’d love to write it all down, they are not fully my stories to tell.

I miss my mom every single day, but at this particular moment, I’d give anything to be able to call her and have her soothing, loving voice on the other end of the line.

She was my one true friend, I understand that now. Sadly, a little too late.

I think that the young girl inside of me wants to find someone to link pinkie fingers with and promise to be forever friends.

But the middle-aged woman that I am understands that that’s a silly, whimsical idea.

So I just sit here and stare at the wall. I drink my coffee and allow the gamut of emotions to run their course. I’m much too tired to fight with them today.

It’s been a long decade and I’m looking forward to 2020, because the 2010’s haven’t been so kind to me.

Stinging with Rejection

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My God, just go away!


Have you ever had the feeling that a friend is trying to avoid you, but isn’t being straight up about it? You just feel a distant vibe each time that you try to reach out and communicate. You instinctively know that something has completely changed and it’s quite obvious that you are taking up their precious time.

Then you feel like a total idiot for even trying to chat with them because they basically ditch the conversation as quickly as they can get away with. It leaves you stinging with rejection and you’ll promise that you’ll just do them a huge favor and leave them the hell alone…

Until some time passes and then you try again, hoping for them to seem happy to hear from you like they used to.

It’s just downright stupid, isn’t it? Why chase a person who clearly wants little to nothing to do with you anymore, for whatever reason.

Oh well. What are your thoughts on this?