My anxiety has always started in my stomach, a churning of intestinal chaos that leaves me feeling nauseous and planning my escape to the nearest bathroom.
From there, it travels into my limbs, causing an unpleasant tingling sensation. My breathing becomes shallow and my head starts to spin, making me feel like I might fall down on my ass and go boom.
Oh, the possibilities are endless!
My thoughts will turn dark and I’ll start to whip through possible scenarios.
- My daughter got car-jacked by a gang of drug fueled ruffians. That’s why she hasn’t answered my text message yet.
- My mom fell in the bathroom and didn’t bring her phone with her, that’s why I keep getting her voicemail when I call (repeatedly, by the way).
- My dog sneezed 3 times, she has bronchitis or something, I just know it.
- This headache isn’t my allergies kicking up, it’s the beginning of an inoperable brain tumor.
- What’s that awful sound? Holy shit, the world is ending, I’m not ready yet!!
- All of my teeth are going to get infected because I can’t afford to see a dentist. I’ll end up having to eat baby food and never smile with my mouth open again. (Okay, this one has some truth to it.)
This isn’t me.
I loathe anxiety.
So tell me, what symptoms do you experience when you’re anxious?
Or are you one of the lucky ones who never really gets anxious? (And if so, what’s your fucking secret?!!!)
In honor of my upcoming birthday, I’m sharing 44 tidbits of knowledge that I’ve acquired since the day the doctor who delivered me smacked my bum as I entered this world.
You guys ready?
Hurry up! This isn’t gonna drink itself!
- Life is too short for cheap lunchmeat or toilet paper.
- Teach yourself how to notify a person to go to hell with just your eyes.
- Don’t be afraid to cry or show your emotions.
- If you love someone, tell them whenever you have the opportunity.
- Decide to write a post like this when you’re in your 20’s, it’s a much less daunting task.
- Don’t stay with someone who makes you struggle all alone in this life.
- Follow that gut instinct, it’ll rarely steer you wrong.
- Disappear for a few days and then take notice of who goes looking for you.
- Chocolate milk really does come from brown cows!!
What the fucking moo?
- Believe in the nonsensical.
- Only apologize for the things that you’re truly sorry for. (This takes so much practice to conquer.)
- I’m sorry.
- See? Fuck.
- Life is a whole helluva lot easier if you have a good sense of humor.
- Do kind things for strangers, like letting them cut in line at the store when they only have 3 items and you have 20.
- It’s never too late to start over again.
- Although it’s wonderful when someone wants to take care of you, know how to take care of yourself just in case they decide otherwise.
- Anger is a kickass motivational tool; use it wisely.
- From a plaque that my mom had on the wall from my childhood home: My house is clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be home.
- A hug from the right person has healing powers.
- Life would truly suck without animals and music.
- I had my daughter when I was 22. Half of my life has now been blessed with her existence.
- Go ahead and take that nap. You’re not lazy!
- Hold onto 16 as long as you can, change come around real soon, make us women and men.
- Swearing in and of itself isn’t bad; it’s all in how you use it.
- No matter where life takes you, remember where you came from.
- Please do not tolerate any bullshit.
- DON’T SETTLE.
- There is so much more to a person than what they look like.
- There is beauty in imperfection.
- If someone breaks your heart, swaddle it up like a baby and rock it gently.
- And let other people take turns helping you rock.
- This list is hard work…only 10 more to go!
- I am eating pretzels with honey mustard right now.
- A sink full of dishes can sit 48 hours and the world won’t stop spinning, I promise.
- If you want to find your tribe, start a blog.
- Set boundaries like boobytraps.
Easy as pie!
- Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. -Doris Day
- There’s a song lyric that’s just perfect for every occasion.
- Let the simplest things in life bring you the most happiness.
- Pick a few aspirations and then try to stick with them.
- It’s perfectly alright to fail, just dust yourself off and when you’re ready, try again.
- The human body is often disgusting. For example, have you ever sneezed while eating a bowl of cornflakes?
- There will never be a band like The Beatles ever again.
Phew, there I did it.
Do you have anything to add to my list?
I went to a bar with my boyfriend about a week ago, just to visit with a few of his friends and to have a quick beer. A woman (a complete stranger) started telling me about her decision to move away after losing her husband suddenly a few months ago and all of her health problems.
I listened to her story patiently and then told her that I thought a new start could be just the thing that she needed.
After we left, my boyfriend told me that she rarely ever talked about her problems, let alone with someone that she’d never even met before.
I shrugged and smiled. Happens all of the time, I told him.