Living That Blanket Burrito Life

What can I say about fibromyalgia that hasn’t already been said about a thousand times here on my blog?

  • Um, it’s worse in the winter.
  • It doesn’t like it when I overdo the things.
  • It always catches up to me, every single time.
  • It’ll make me so exhausted that I’ll end up missing an entire day or two, just sleeping.
  • Once the fatigue is back to some kind of normal, then the pain steps in and takes over.

I wrap myself into a human burrito¬†and rest, layer my medications and wait until I’m back to my normal self, which isn’t all that great to begin with, really, but at least I can do the things that I want and need to do again.

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I live for my good days.

On my bad days, I cry, pray and remind myself that this too shall pass.

I try extremely hard nowadays to allow myself to feel my emotions instead of ignoring them. It’s alright for me to feel angry, sad, frightened and disgusted. When I face my inner feelings and thoughts, it’s only then that I can take my power back.


My boyfriend has seen me at my worst and he’s still here, by gum. (An euphemism for the archaic “by God.”)

This morning before he went to work, he stopped by because he read that pineapple was good for inflammation (fresh cut by him) and then he also brought me a pepperoni chop flat bread that they make at the bakery he works at. After work, he’s picking up my pills at the pharmacy.

Between Steven, my daughter Brooke and my neighbor Dave, I am well taken care of on the days when I am suffering from this hell-beast¬†disease that is called fibromyalgia. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that the ones who care for me aren’t doing it just so that they can take advantage of my illnesses for their own personal gain, like some asshat that we all know and despise.

I’ll be filing for divorce within the next month. Then I can finally be truly free of that waste of sperm.

Oh and guess what? For those of you living in the states, spring is only 40 days away.

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This Used To Be My Playground

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I was notified by WordPress yesterday that I’ve been blogging for 6 years. I knew the anniversary was sometime in October, I just wasn’t positive of the exact date.

I used to be able to share every detail of my life without much of a problem. But nowadays, the idea gives me a bad case of the nerves.

Me no likey being open, raw and honest anymore.

Life changes…people come, they go, they break your heart, they stay, they love you, they hate you, summer turns to winter, children get older, suicidal urges take up brain space, handfuls of pills are taken with sips of Aquafina, husbands cheat…the earth continues to rotate and reality television stars become president.

I won’t be a drama queen and say that I’m closing up shop, but my days of posting on a regular basis are over with. If you don’t see me around much, I can promise you (about 87%) that I’m just peachy fucking keen.

I haven’t been a fan of Madonna since like 1988, but to steal the title of one of her songs, this used to be my playground.