Getting Better Acquainted

I saw this posted by a friend on Facebook and it looked like a fun and easy thing to do on a lazy Sunday.


💍 Marriages: One.

💍 Engagements: Two. (I never married the kid’s biological father.)

💔 Divorces: One.

ðŸ‘ķ Kids: One daughter, age 22.

ðŸ‘Ķ Brothers: One.

👧 Sisters: Nope.

🐕 Current pets: Two dogs and a Betta fish named Ferdinand. 🐠

ðŸ‘Đ🏞‍⚕ïļ Surgeries: Not yet…unless you count having 19 teeth ripped out of your mouthpiece while you’re awake.

✒ Tattoos: Five. I’ll be getting a new one in honor of my mom when I can afford it.

Ink ain’t cheap unless it’s done in a dingy kitchen by some slightly inebriated dude named Earl.

ðŸŒī Been to an island: Yes. Puerto Rico, St. Thomas and Put-In-Bay. A couple more in the Caribbean that I can’t recall the names of right now.

✈ïļ Flown on a Plane: Yes, I love flying the friendly skies.

🚑 Rode in an Ambulance: Four times. The first was when I was in the 7th grade and I dislocated my knee while attempting to do the splits in my backyard. The entire neighborhood showed up to watch the action.

ðŸŽĪ Sang Karaoke: Yes, I got booed. I sang “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” and “Goodbye Earl” with an old friend. The only reason I did it was because I was drunker than a skunk.

â›ļ Ice Skating: Yes, once. It hurt my ankles and I fell on my ass. Not fun.

ðŸšĒ Been on a Cruise: Yes, it was lovely. I would never be able to physically (or financially) do it again, so I’m grateful that I had the opportunity when I was still pretty healthy.

🏍 Rode on motorcycle: Um, no way.

🏍 Owned a motorcycle: No!

ðŸī Rode on a Horse: No, I couldn’t get on the fucking horse. Impossible. I almost broke some important body parts trying.

Sorry, Mr. Ed.

ðŸĨ Stayed in a Hospital: Yes. Plus two psych wards within a month of each other.

🍓 Favorite Fruit: Strawberry.

📅 Favorite day of the week: Back in my working days, it was Friday. Nowadays, I don’t much give a shit what day it is. Maybe Saturday because I spend the entire day with my boyfriend.

🌈 Favorite Color: Lime Green.

ðŸ“ąLast phone call: My cousin Cindi.

☕ Coffee or tea: Coffee with cream and sugar.

ðŸĨ§ Favorite pie: Apple.

🍕 Favorite pizza: Pepperoni, onion and green pepper.

ðŸķ Cat or Dog: I love both, but dogs are more loyal.

☃ïļ Favorite season: Fall.

⭐ïļ Met a star: Nick Cage in Las Vegas. He was filming a movie. He nodded slightly and we made eye contact. He’s shorter than I had originally thought.

🚁 Rode in a helicopter: No, those things freak me out.

📚 Been on TV: Not that I am aware of.

ðŸĶī Broken a bone: No. But I’ve had my heart broken many times.

ðŸ‘ŧ Seen a ghost: I have never actually seen a ghost, but I’ve had many paranormal experiences and signs from my departed loved ones.

⚰ïļ Seen someone die: Yes, both of my parents.  ðŸ˜Ķ 

ðŸĪŪ Been sick in a taxi: I’ve been in a taxi twice, but the only thing that made me sick was how much money I had to fork over when I got to my destination. 

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I’ll Never…

Beautiful retro woman with red lips holding cup of coffee. black

I have to somehow accept the fact that my life didn’t pan out the way that I expected it to.

I’ll never be able to go back to how I was before my health conditions took over and made me so fragile, mentally and physically.

I’ll never be able to go back in time and listen to my instincts before I married the asshat.

I’ll never be able to tackle problems and situations with a mostly calm, collected mind without becoming overwhelmed, like I used to do.

I’ll never be able to clean my entire house in one day. (Become one with the clutter and dust!)

I’ll never be able to fully trust another human ever again. (Besides my extremely ill mother.)

I’ll never wake up again and not feel like a dog turd. (Unless I’m hooked up to a morphine drip.)

I’ll never…