Ever Again

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I am full of sad stories

Of my own and other people

Gathered slowly over the years

In a pocket nestled near my heart

It’s near full to capacity, bursting

Of labored last breaths and traumas

Of tears and hours of tormented memories

So full, I feel like I might crawl into a hole

Never to be seen, to never feel despair

Ever again

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Pulling the Wool

Nobody believed at first that asshat was cheating on me due to the fact that he weighed over 400 pounds. (I assume that he still does.)

It completely dumbfounded my family, especially my mother. She really loved him and when the shit hit the fan, she took it personally.

Love can turn to hatred in a nanosecond.

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He had pulled the wool over her eyes and that was unacceptable. Just like me, he is now dead to her and that’s that. I wasn’t the only one who was so bitterly betrayed.

But back to his weight and the fact that people were like…what the fuck? Who would want that fat ass?

Well, as it turned out, there was a vast supply of females who wanted a piece of that jelly roll.

(I can talk like this because I have always been on the heavier side myself.)

Back in 2015, when I was going through a severe mental health crisis, I had a feeling deep down that he was cheating on me, but when I vocalized my suspicions, my mom nixed the idea straightaway. (See above for why.)

I let the idea go. It was easier for me at the time to dismiss my gut instincts and blame myself for just being sick in the head and paranoid.

Appearance has nothing to do with it. If someone is able to cast a web of bullshit, they can catch a turd easily enough.

Don’t ever doubt your gut.

The Top and the Bottom

No video today, I’m afraid. I’m just not feeling it. Too bad though, because my hair is all fluffy and squeaky clean.

Update on my new teeth…(I know you guys have been hanging on the edge of your seats the last week!)

On top, I’ve had no problems ever since I got a few sore spots adjusted on Monday. My top dentures go in and out, just as easy as taking candy from a baby.

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The suction sound when I take them out at night is fucking nifty. Plus, they stay in place without any adhesives. I’ve been smiling brightly at everyone that I’ve come into contact with all week.

Alas, the bottom dentures are almost impossible for me to keep in for any amount of time. I can’t use anything yet to help them stay in place, plus I have two bone fragments/spurs popping out of my gums.¬†They hurt like hell, not to mention that they’re extremely disturbing to look at. I guess it happens often enough from what I’ve read on the subject, especially when lower teeth are extracted and if there was a bit of a struggle prying them loose. (My poor jawbone.) I’m assuming that the dentist will have to dig around in there and remove them somehow, I just hope that they numb me first.

My appointment is next Thursday and they’ll also be removing any remaining sutures and doing a soft reline on my temporary dentures, which I think will make everything more comfy for my gums.

I can tolerate soft foods. Before I eat anything, I rate it first with my Mush-A-Bility scale.

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Oh man, not mashed potatoes again!

Like, I could eat my feta and spinach omelette today, but I had to give away my toast because it just wasn’t happening.

And I love toast, too, damn it.

By the way, pudding tastes amazing without your teeth in. My mom told me that years ago and by God, she’s right.

Have a nice weekend and if you by chance eat a steak, think of me.