Now that I’m divorced, I have many people telling me to just move on.
Let me break this shit down for all of those well-meaning peeps. (Love you.)
My MARRIAGE ended in the absolutely worst scenario, like, ever.
My husband CHEATED on me, probably multiple times over the years, but he had a fucking MISTRESS. Her name was Debbie. She had a pug. She lived only a couple of towns over.
She knew that he was married, but this did not stop her from diddling my ex husband.
So, as much as I am ecstatic to be divorced now and no longer living with such a garbage person, a genuine sociopath, who darkened my life with his fiendish personality and also subtly abused my daughter, I cannot just “move on” that easily.
Do you know how that totally fucks with your mind?
You’re thinking to yourself, well shit. I must be the worst, most ugliest, worthless woman on the planet.
The entire ordeal continues to haunt me. I’m almost positive that it would haunt YOU as well, thank you ever so kindly.
Trust me, I DO want to MOVE on, more than you can even fathom. I wish that there was a reset fucking button and I could go back to the day he asked me to marry him.
I would’ve laughed in his damned face!
I would’ve kicked him out then and there. Phew!
I would’ve spit in his food and told him that his beloved ding dong was microscopic.
But I can’t go back in time, this isn’t a mother fucking movie.
But what I can do is be realistic and realize that I need to address years worth of trauma and abuse. I asked my doctor to refer me to a psychologist, which he did. I’ll make the call tomorrow morning.
I think that most people don’t quite realize how truly difficult it is to “just move on” from unpleasant life experiences. In theory, it sounds fucking peachy keen, doesn’t it?
Oh yes, I never think about it anymore, Wilma. I have successfully moved on!
My God, I wish that were the truth.
I’m admitting right here, on my humble little blog, that I do indeed need some professional help dealing with a large amount of bullshit. Self-administered EMDR therapy and positive memes just aren’t cutting it.